Oops, I did it again.
I fucked another guy’s butthole. But let’s backtrack first…
I had been talking to this guy Craig on a dating app for a bit. We exchanged numbers and continued to talk. Eventually he gave me the heads up that he was a submissive. I told him maybe we wouldn’t be the best match because I typically like to be submissive (see Daddy). He said he switches. I was sold.
I eventually decided to give up on him. He seemed confused about what he wanted. He talked about sex a lot which usually means the guy really only wants to hook up. I don’t need to use a dating app to find hook ups…I can get laid by meeting someone out in person and it is way less awkward than meeting up with someone you meet online. If we are going to go back and forth texting and go out on some date I don’t want it to be just because you had to put on a show to get in my pants.
Then a month or so later he started texting me again. He told me sometimes he gets scared about trying to date since he has been in bad relationships…what bologna. He told me he didn’t want us to stop talking because we got along so well. I agreed, we did get along pretty damn well.
Fast forward to this past Saturday night. I was out at a bar that turned out to be just a few blocks from his place. I got a text from him that he came by and it was too crowded so he left. Shortly thereafter my friend and I left to go to a different bar. On my walk over I called him to scold him.
“We’ve been talking all this time and you were in the same building as me and you didn’t tell me before you left? What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You think about what you did wrong and I’ll deal with you later.”
He agreed to meet me at a different, less crowded bar. He was already there when I got there. I could see him, tall and alone ordering a beer at the bar. He turned around and I waved at him. I was so nervous.
He came over and I sat on a bar stool next to him to chat. He bought me a Stella. I don’t even remember what we talked about. All I remember is him looming over me. He is 6’3″ and I was sitting so he looked like a big lumberjack skyscraper. He leaned down to kiss me. It was officially on.
Shortly thereafter we walked hand in hand to his apartment. When we got there I was impressed. It wasn’t a big apartment but it was very nice, and definitely expensive. There was exposed brick in several places, which I love, but I could tell it was purposely there for aesthetic effect, not because the building was old and brick like most places.
He had cool art on the walls. He had a large TV system mounted up across from a sectional couch. He had a fancy bathroom with a waterfall shower head. He had a guitar and a ukelele mounted on the walls as well. You know someone is fancy when shit is mounted.
We smoked a bowl and he took the guitar down to play to me. He tells me he can sing. I thought he was kidding. He begins to sing John Mayer and he is actually very decent. I drunkenly try to harmonize with him. We were wasted so it was okay. He then played Jason Mraz for me on his ukelele. Wow.
He sits down on the couch and we start making out. I straddle his lap and he lifts up my shirt. I’m not wearing a bra but I totally forgot that I had bandaids on my nipples. He doesn’t realize it and tries to start sucking on them and I had to stop him. He was really confused so I stopped explaining and just ripped the bandaids off as quick as I could. Ouch.
We move to the bedroom. It starts to get violent.
I don’t know where this comes from, maybe it is some sort of pent up anger inside me, but when I drink I can get very dominant, even though its not my sexual preference. One time in college I hooked up with some frat boy when I was wasted and I slapped him across the face just because I knew I could. I knew I could literally physically harm this human and he would still want me. Power feels good.
He was too soft to have sex from all the drinking but we were still fooling around. He had a massive pink wand vibrator (like in the pornos) that he used on me until I came. Following that we were kissing and I was playing with his basically limp dick.
I kept slapping him across the face. I also choked him while grinding my hips on his crotch. I hope I wasn’t TOO violent.
Then he took out a dildo. It was a rubbery nude colored, dick-shaped, dildo. I sucked on it and he joined me. We kissed with the dildo in the middle. It was maybe one of the weirder things I’ve ever done but it happened very naturally.
He tells me he wants me to put it in his ass. Okay, if that what you want I guess.
I don’t really know how to penetrate someone. Like I have not done that shit enough times to know how to properly handle that kind of equipment. I kind of just jammed it in there.
It was fuzzy from there, another drunken sexcapade. I woke up the next morning in his bed. He was asleep on the couch, I figure I kicked him out or snored or something.
I was VERY hungover. I puked in his toilet while he was asleep. I put my clothes on and peaced out.
Funny enough I really want to see him again. Our night time activities were scandalous but we do have really good conversation when we talk during the day. We’re both in sales, he’s tall and chubby, like me, he dresses well, he can fuckin’ sing I mean come on….
I texted him today and said “Idk about you but I was violently hungover all day yesterday. You’re fun. If you ever wanted to try that again maybe less intoxicated I’d be down.” I figured he wouldn’t respond but he did immediately. “Yeah, I slept all day.”
Okay like…are you into it or no? I wanna say no because he didn’t address what I said about seeing him again, but he also responded immediately when he didn’t have to respond literally at all. But then again maybe he just felt bad and didn’t want to ignore me?
Normally I try to be as honest as possible. I’ll probably ask him to do something and if he says no I’ll let it be. I always say to be honest right off the bat because if you’re not you’ll just waste your own time and energy.
You’ll be afraid to ask the person on a date for fear they will say no, but if they are going to say no wouldn’t you just rather find that out immediately as opposed to having forced conversation over text until it fizzles out?
Keep it real people.