The Submissive

“We move to the bedroom. It starts to get violent.”

Oops, I did it again.

I fucked another guy’s butthole. But let’s backtrack first…

I had been talking to this guy Craig on a dating app for a bit. We exchanged numbers and continued to talk. Eventually he gave me the heads up that he was a submissive. I told him maybe we wouldn’t be the best match because I typically like to be submissive (see Daddy). He said he switches. I was sold.

I eventually decided to give up on him. He seemed confused about what he wanted. He talked about sex a lot which usually means the guy really only wants to hook up. I don’t need to use a dating app to find hook ups…I can get laid by meeting someone out in person and it is way less awkward than meeting up with someone you meet online. If we are going to go back and forth texting and go out on some date I don’t want it to be just because you had to put on a show to get in my pants.

Then a month or so later he started texting me again. He told me sometimes he gets scared about trying to date since he has been in bad relationships…what bologna. He told me he didn’t want us to stop talking because we got along so well. I agreed, we did get along pretty damn well.

Fast forward to this past Saturday night. I was out at a bar that turned out to be just a few blocks from his place. I got a text from him that he came by and it was too crowded so he left. Shortly thereafter my friend and I left to go to a different bar. On my walk over I called him to scold him.

“We’ve been talking all this time and you were in the same building as me and you didn’t tell me before you left? What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You think about what you did wrong and I’ll deal with you later.”

He agreed to meet me at a different, less crowded bar. He was already there when I got there. I could see him, tall and alone ordering a beer at the bar. He turned around and I waved at him. I was so nervous.

He came over and I sat on a bar stool next to him to chat. He bought me a Stella. I don’t even remember what we talked about. All I remember is him looming over me. He is 6’3″ and I was sitting so he looked like a big lumberjack skyscraper. He leaned down to kiss me. It was officially on.

Shortly thereafter we walked hand in hand to his apartment. When we got there I was impressed. It wasn’t a big apartment but it was very nice, and definitely expensive. There was exposed brick in several places, which I love, but I could tell it was purposely there for aesthetic effect, not because the building was old and brick like most places.

He had cool art on the walls. He had a large TV system mounted up across from a sectional couch. He had a fancy bathroom with a waterfall shower head. He had a guitar and a ukelele mounted on the walls as well. You know someone is fancy when shit is mounted.

We smoked a bowl and he took the guitar down to play to me. He tells me he can sing. I thought he was kidding. He begins to sing John Mayer and he is actually very decent. I drunkenly try to harmonize with him. We were wasted so it was okay. He then played Jason Mraz for me on his ukelele. Wow.

He sits down on the couch and we start making out. I straddle his lap and he lifts up my shirt. I’m not wearing a bra but I totally forgot that I had bandaids on my nipples. He doesn’t realize it and tries to start sucking on them and I had to stop him. He was really confused so I stopped explaining and just ripped the bandaids off as quick as I could. Ouch.

We move to the bedroom. It starts to get violent.

I don’t know where this comes from, maybe it is some sort of pent up anger inside me, but when I drink I can get very dominant, even though its not my sexual preference. One time in college I hooked up with some frat boy when I was wasted and I slapped him across the face just because I knew I could. I knew I could literally physically harm this human and he would still want me. Power feels good.

He was too soft to have sex from all the drinking but we were still fooling around. He had a massive pink wand vibrator (like in the pornos) that he used on me until I came. Following that we were kissing and I was playing with his basically limp dick.

I kept slapping him across the face. I also choked him while grinding my hips on his crotch. I hope I wasn’t TOO violent.

Then he took out a dildo. It was a rubbery nude colored, dick-shaped, dildo. I sucked on it and he joined me. We kissed with the dildo in the middle. It was maybe one of the weirder things I’ve ever done but it happened very naturally.

He tells me he wants me to put it in his ass. Okay, if that what you want I guess.

I don’t really know how to penetrate someone. Like I have not done that shit enough times to know how to properly handle that kind of equipment. I kind of just jammed it in there.

It was fuzzy from there, another drunken sexcapade. I woke up the next morning in his bed. He was asleep on the couch, I figure I kicked him out or snored or something.

I was VERY hungover. I puked in his toilet while he was asleep. I put my clothes on and peaced out.

Funny enough I really want to see him again. Our night time activities were scandalous but we do have really good conversation when we talk during the day. We’re both in sales, he’s tall and chubby, like me, he dresses well, he can fuckin’ sing I mean come on….

I texted him today and said “Idk about you but I was violently hungover all day yesterday. You’re fun. If you ever wanted to try that again maybe less intoxicated I’d be down.” I figured he wouldn’t respond but he did immediately. “Yeah, I slept all day.”

Okay like…are you into it or no? I wanna say no because he didn’t address what I said about seeing him again, but he also responded immediately when he didn’t have to respond literally at all. But then again maybe he just felt bad and didn’t want to ignore me?

Normally I try to be as honest as possible. I’ll probably ask him to do something and if he says no I’ll let it be. I always say to be honest right off the bat because if you’re not you’ll just waste your own time and energy.

You’ll be afraid to ask the person on a date for fear they will say no, but if they are going to say no wouldn’t you just rather find that out  immediately as opposed to having forced conversation over text until it fizzles out?

Keep it real people.

Love,

Anonymous Bitch

 

Third Wheeling It

“So what do you call a straight girl that has a FMF threesome and watches lesbian porn?”

On Saturday night I fucked a couple. 

I was at a bar with a friend and she was off talking to some dude. I’m not a cock block, I’m an adult who is capable of grabbing a drink and socializing on my own. This being said, I walked over to the bar alone to grab a drink.

You’ll have to cut me some slack because I was very intoxicated by this point in the night. I don’t remember some of the details but bare with me here. 

Somehow I ended up talking to some guy and I remember him asking me if I was bisexual, and then introducing his girlfriend to me. “We’re swingers.” I never thought I would hear such young people use the term “swingers” but I guess I’m not sure what else you would call it. 

I explained that I’m not bisexual but that I’m very open minded and pretty much down for anything. They ask me to go home with them.

I immediately shook my head yes. Then I ask if it was for him or for her. I didn’t want to go have a threesome with a couple because it is the guy’s fantasy and the girl is reluctantly complying. I wanted to make sure they were both totally into it. 

We get a cab home. The guy keeps putting his hand down the back of my jeans to grab my bare butt. I don’t think I’ve had an adult man to that to me ever. I remember kissing the girl in the cab. I remember stumbling into their apartment. I remember the girl pouring us drinks. I remember the guy pulling my top off of me. This is where it gets even hazier. 

I don’t really remember any foreplay, I just kind of came to conciousness with the guy behind and inside me, and the girl beneath me. I was doing a lot of boob touching. At first I didn’t really remember doing much to the girl but I’m pretty sure now that I fingered her.

Next thing I know they are pulling out a strap on from a drawer. I don’t really remember who was supposed to be wearing the strap on, and I don’t remember who was supposed to receive it. The only thing I remember is putting it in the guy’s ass. I hope that is what I was supposed to do. He seemed kind of shocked when I put it in but not mad at all. Who knows?

At some point I think I just got bored. I jumped off the bed and they continued to fuck each other missionary style. I felt like that was my cue. I franticly put my clothes on and literally ran out of the apartment. I Ubered home. Not before calling Maybe Greg at least 20 times. I texted the next morning to apologize and explain that I thought I was locked out of my friend’s apartment (because she brought the guy from the bar home). He still has not responded to my apology texts. Oh well. 

I had a little bit of anxiety about it the next day. I think part of it was that being sexual with a girl is not 100% comfortable me because I really do identify as straight. I think another part of it is that I wished I hadn’t been so drunk so that I could’ve been less sloppy and aggressive. I wish I had played it more cool…

So what do you call a straight girl that has a FMF threesome and watches lesbian porn? Oh yea, I watch lesbian porn literally all the time. At first when I realized I liked lesbian porn I felt super confused. It wasn’t really something that I had admitted to my friends until recent years even though I had been doing it for a while. 

One day I had an epiphany about this. I was getting turned on by lesbian porn because I was seeing women getting eaten out and touched correctly. Straight porn literally looks like the girl is being assaulted. I am all for rough sex and role playing, but what is done to females in straight porn looks painful. You also don’t see men in porn going down on women for more than a couple seconds. On the other hand, you get to watch a girl blow the dude for literal HOURS while her eyes water and she makes choking sounds. 

I blame the porn industry for forcing straight women to watch lesbian porn. If there was more straight porn in which both sexes were created equal this wouldn’t be a thing. 

I’m not alone. Check out this article from the Huffington Post.

Wanna know what I really think? What I really think is that there is no such fucking thing as “gay” and “straight” and “bi” and yadda yadda. You don’t have to pick a label. Often times when talking about a straight girl who has hooked up with another girl, I hear people say something along the lines of “oh, is she a lesbian?” Like maybe you can just do what you want when you want to and not have to pick a category to be grouped into. Maybe it’s not such a big effin deal what you choose to do with your body or how you feel about things depending on the moment.

Having sex does not change who you are.

And hey, listen, I definitely think that sexuality is part of someone’s identity. But a single or even many sexual acts don’t cause some sort of transformation. If I have sex with a girl I’m not suddenly a new thing that I wasn’t once. Same thing goes for how much sex someone has. There is some sort of misconception out there that each time a woman has sex she gives something away and is now less of a person. People act like women only have so much sex in them and that their supply can be depleted. I will touch more on this later, I could write a whole novel on this topic alone.

I just really encourage all of you to trust yourself, do what feels right, and don’t worry about what other people think about it. We are taught to make so many judgements about sex which restrains us and makes us unhappy. If you judge yourself and others for sex you will never truly enjoy it or have a healthy sexuality.

Love,

Anonymous Bitch

Maybe Greg

“While we fuck he speaks Jamaican to me.”

I met Maybe Greg out at a bar one night when I was very intoxicated. He was a tall Jamaican guy with a thick accent and a face that looks way too old for his body. We grind together and then he asks me if I smoke weed. Of course I do.

He says his place is right around the corner. I ask my girlfriends permission to go home with a stranger alone in the city. They approve. We jump in a cab and go uptown a few blocks to his walk up apartment. When we get inside we smoke on his couch and he makes me lay on my stomach so he can massage my back. I’m in heaven.

Of course one thing leads to the next and we are in his bed. I can get pretty horny when I’m stoned. We’re fucking and he is flipping me all over the damn place. One minute my legs are beneath me, then they’re up in the air; he is manually shifting my body into a new position every couple minutes. His dick is pretty big, definitely in circumference more than anything else, but then I notice he is getting limp. Whiskey dick sucks…

It’s cool though, it happens. I can’t cum vaginally anyways and we were too drunk for me to care enough to instruct him on how to touch me right. Plus, my friend is calling my cell phone because our other friend is violently throwing up. Classic.

He begs me to sleepover, promising more weed and takeout food and movies. Honestly, I’d rather just go home. He comes outside with me and hails me a cab and gives me $20 cash.

The next thing I know I wake up on the couch at my friend’s apartment. It is morning time. I see a new number in my text messages but the contact isn’t saved yet. What was his name? I wanna say, maybe, Greg. I save him as Maybe Greg in my phone.

Over the following two weeks he texts me every day. He asks me to hangout with him constantly. I dodge him at first. I’m not totally positive that I would think he was attractive when I was sober. Eventually one night I’m out for drinks after work with some friends and I decide…tonight is the night.

Maybe Greg comes in a cab to pick me up and brings me back to his place. When we get there we smoke, and then begin getting sexual even quicker than we had the last time. He hasn’t been drinking like he was on the night we met, so we don’t experience any more technical difficulties.

While we fuck he speaks Jamaican to me. I’m not sure if Jamaican is a technically a language but I know that they have a lot of slang or alternative phrases that we don’t say in American English. I told him I didn’t know what he was saying, but I liked it. He talked a lot. Which I also liked. He was also rough…pulling my hair from behind, choking me, etc. I enjoy all of it.

We bang twice before we go to sleep.

I wake up at 6:20AM to Maybe Greg stroking my thighs. At first I whine that I have to get up for work, but I am easily convinced and we begin fucking again. The prior day I had told him that I was exhausted and stressed from my day at work. While he fucks me in the morning he says to me in a sexual tone, “you gonna have a better day today? hah?” It is hot.

When we are done I go back to sleep for about 20 minutes. Wake up. Realize I don’t have a hair brush or hair tie, and reluctantly put on my clothes feeling totally disgusting. I get an Uber to work and do my makeup in the bathroom before I go in. I grab a Gatorade from a Duane Reade to get ahead of the hangover that is about to hit me.

I’m not sure if I want to see Maybe Greg again, but I’ll keep you updated.

Love,

Anonymous Bitch