I’ve been postless for a while now, the cause for that also being the cause for this post. I was seeing one guy for a while in a somewhat serious way, though that ended mutually just a few days ago.
I always knew it wasn’t a long term thing for several obvious reasons, but along the way he said some stuff that really sealed the deal. I thought that it might be fun to make a list right here of all of the garbage things that this guy said to me over the course of our relationship. I suppose this will double as a venting exercise as well.
1. Sometimes you sacrifice and allow yourself to feel pain and discomfort to sexually please someone that you love.
HELL TO THE NO. I will NEVER put myself in pain or extreme discomfort no matter how much I love someone. Just because I am in a relationship does not mean that I sacrifice the standards I have for my own body. I will never love someone else more than I love myself.
For some context: this arose because he, like every fuckin guy ever, wanted to do anal. I told him a billion times that I’ve tried anal with every relationship I’ve ever been in to finally realize that I hate it and it hurts so bad that I literally cry afterwards. So this mofo tells me that in relationships you do stuff like that for the person you love. NO BITCH. If you loved me you would not want to feel sexual pleasure while I was in extreme unwanted physical pain. Fuck you.
2. Sometimes sex isn’t about both people.
Hmmmm…..no. Sex is about both people. Sometimes one person doesn’t cum or you try something new for the one of you that is into it or whatever but at no time is my sex not for me. That is what prostitutes are for. Men have this fantasy that we get all sorts of pleasure from getting them off because that is literally what society teaches them. I get that sometimes it’s hot to have a quickie in a non-traditional way, you know, one of those times you spontaneously just like bend over or whatever. But if we are in bed and have all the time in the world we are both gonna get off.
ALSO, I should not have to ASK you to get me off, are you kidding? You cum and then we’re just done?! You don’t care whether or not I get off? Wtf is that?! What kind of man are you?! Not tryna play to gender roles here so…what kind of HUMAN are you?!?
I would tell him in these situations that it made me upset and he would act like I was some kind of sex maniac for being upset. I always said to him, “imagine if every single time we had sex I got off and then you only got off when I ‘felt like it'”. One time he was supposed to sleepover but then literally got up and started getting dressed to go home because I told him I shouldn’t have to ask. But for REAL….IMAGINE if you had sex with a man and you came and then just rolled over to go to bed…he would be FURIOUS. Imagine how a man would react to that…
3. Shut up.
DO NOT EVER TELL ME TO SHUT UP. Towards the end of the relationship he would say this to me constantly. I’m not talking about joking around or teasing, he would constantly tell me to shut up if he didn’t like what I was saying, or if he wasn’t in the mood to talk, or honestly I don’t know why he’d say it sometimes. RESPECT ME because I deserve it.
4. You’re dramatic and what you’re saying about me is made up in your head.
None of my feelings were ever valid. If I said something he didn’t want to hear it was just “me being dramatic”. I asked him once if he would tell me I was being dramatic if he hit me and I was upset about it. Regardless of whether or not you think my feelings are an overreaction these are my feelings and I can’t change them. To mediate them I try to communicate so we can talk it out so that I DON’T become overdramatic.
I told this fucker that I felt he was losing interest in me and he told me it was all made up. MEANWHILE he has stopped cuddling me at night, refuses to kiss me almost all the time, DELETED THE PICTURES HE HAD OF ME OFF HIS SOCIAL MEDIA, comments on other girls posts with tongue emojis and shit, and is posting constantly online about how he is bored and things he looks for in women, etc as if this fucker is already single…..those things are FACTS? You actually did those things. It seems that he was experiencing a touch of Donald Trump syndrome.
5. I take too long to cum.
He said that the reason he wouldn’t get me off every time was because his wrist would hurt from touching me for too long. It’s not like I take a half hour it’s literally maximum like 5-7 minutes maximum. Also maybe I would cum faster if you would eat the fuckin pussy!!!! I blew him all the time and over the course of 7 months he only went down on me twice. The kicker is that he would always post on his ratchet ass Instagram account memes about eating pussy, loving to eat pussy, his “tongue game”. One time I said “who’s pussy you been eating? Cause it’s not mine.”
Because I can relate somewhat…you know I’ve been there where you’re sucking dick so long that it’s painful…so I proposed a solution. I said we could get a vibrator and he could use that on me and it would be more effective and would take less effort on his part. And this guy told me he “wasn’t into that”. New solution: WE’RE OVER.
Today’s lesson: trust your gut when you know something is wrong. I knew when he said this stuff to me that he was not the kind of person that I wanted, nor the kind of person that deserved my time, attention, sex, or love. Cut the cord before feelings get hurt once you know something is off. Save yourself from douche bags like this. You won’t regret it.