On Saturday night I fucked a couple.
I was at a bar with a friend and she was off talking to some dude. I’m not a cock block, I’m an adult who is capable of grabbing a drink and socializing on my own. This being said, I walked over to the bar alone to grab a drink.
You’ll have to cut me some slack because I was very intoxicated by this point in the night. I don’t remember some of the details but bare with me here.
Somehow I ended up talking to some guy and I remember him asking me if I was bisexual, and then introducing his girlfriend to me. “We’re swingers.” I never thought I would hear such young people use the term “swingers” but I guess I’m not sure what else you would call it.
I explained that I’m not bisexual but that I’m very open minded and pretty much down for anything. They ask me to go home with them.
I immediately shook my head yes. Then I ask if it was for him or for her. I didn’t want to go have a threesome with a couple because it is the guy’s fantasy and the girl is reluctantly complying. I wanted to make sure they were both totally into it.
We get a cab home. The guy keeps putting his hand down the back of my jeans to grab my bare butt. I don’t think I’ve had an adult man to that to me ever. I remember kissing the girl in the cab. I remember stumbling into their apartment. I remember the girl pouring us drinks. I remember the guy pulling my top off of me. This is where it gets even hazier.
I don’t really remember any foreplay, I just kind of came to conciousness with the guy behind and inside me, and the girl beneath me. I was doing a lot of boob touching. At first I didn’t really remember doing much to the girl but I’m pretty sure now that I fingered her.
Next thing I know they are pulling out a strap on from a drawer. I don’t really remember who was supposed to be wearing the strap on, and I don’t remember who was supposed to receive it. The only thing I remember is putting it in the guy’s ass. I hope that is what I was supposed to do. He seemed kind of shocked when I put it in but not mad at all. Who knows?
At some point I think I just got bored. I jumped off the bed and they continued to fuck each other missionary style. I felt like that was my cue. I franticly put my clothes on and literally ran out of the apartment. I Ubered home. Not before calling Maybe Greg at least 20 times. I texted the next morning to apologize and explain that I thought I was locked out of my friend’s apartment (because she brought the guy from the bar home). He still has not responded to my apology texts. Oh well.
I had a little bit of anxiety about it the next day. I think part of it was that being sexual with a girl is not 100% comfortable me because I really do identify as straight. I think another part of it is that I wished I hadn’t been so drunk so that I could’ve been less sloppy and aggressive. I wish I had played it more cool…
So what do you call a straight girl that has a FMF threesome and watches lesbian porn? Oh yea, I watch lesbian porn literally all the time. At first when I realized I liked lesbian porn I felt super confused. It wasn’t really something that I had admitted to my friends until recent years even though I had been doing it for a while.
One day I had an epiphany about this. I was getting turned on by lesbian porn because I was seeing women getting eaten out and touched correctly. Straight porn literally looks like the girl is being assaulted. I am all for rough sex and role playing, but what is done to females in straight porn looks painful. You also don’t see men in porn going down on women for more than a couple seconds. On the other hand, you get to watch a girl blow the dude for literal HOURS while her eyes water and she makes choking sounds.
I blame the porn industry for forcing straight women to watch lesbian porn. If there was more straight porn in which both sexes were created equal this wouldn’t be a thing.
I’m not alone. Check out this article from the Huffington Post.
Wanna know what I really think? What I really think is that there is no such fucking thing as “gay” and “straight” and “bi” and yadda yadda. You don’t have to pick a label. Often times when talking about a straight girl who has hooked up with another girl, I hear people say something along the lines of “oh, is she a lesbian?” Like maybe you can just do what you want when you want to and not have to pick a category to be grouped into. Maybe it’s not such a big effin deal what you choose to do with your body or how you feel about things depending on the moment.
Having sex does not change who you are.
And hey, listen, I definitely think that sexuality is part of someone’s identity. But a single or even many sexual acts don’t cause some sort of transformation. If I have sex with a girl I’m not suddenly a new thing that I wasn’t once. Same thing goes for how much sex someone has. There is some sort of misconception out there that each time a woman has sex she gives something away and is now less of a person. People act like women only have so much sex in them and that their supply can be depleted. I will touch more on this later, I could write a whole novel on this topic alone.
I just really encourage all of you to trust yourself, do what feels right, and don’t worry about what other people think about it. We are taught to make so many judgements about sex which restrains us and makes us unhappy. If you judge yourself and others for sex you will never truly enjoy it or have a healthy sexuality.